Learning...

To stop learning is to stop living.

I have found that to be so true. I have seen, met, and known a number of people in my life who are dead. Literally. Most of them live just for the sake of living. They stop the acquisition of knowledge the moment they finish college. In fact, the only knowledge they receive from then on is either from the television or the radio. Brain dead. No progress for their brains. Eventually they turn senile.

These kinds of people are very difficult. Seldom open to new ideas, they live in their own world and refuse to accept changes. Or else they just go along with the flow, like nothing challenges them. Like the tall grass, what we call lalang in Malay.

I dont ever want to stop learning. I've come to admire those who have doctorate degrees, not because they're so smart, but because they refuse to say that their education is complete. Of course, money is always an issue, and though it is closely related, it is another subject. Learning must never stop. Even if money is an issue, one can still buy books for self-learning!

Sometimes I find myself saying, once I am done with my bachelors, i can say it's finally over. Then I catch myself saying that...and think: do I really ever want to stop learning? Is this it for me? If I have the chance, I think I would pursue graduate studies. And then on to post-grad studies! At the least, I wanna be able to invest in books and books and books, and just read and read and read.

There is always something to learn! Only be watchful that with all that knowledge, it does not puff up. See, therein lies the danger of the pursuit of knowledge, that those who have pursued it think they are greater than others. The motivation shouldnt be I wanna learn so that I can be better than others. Rather, the motivation for learning should be because I dont know better and others can help me.

All day...

"All day, all day now, all day! jeng jeng jengjengjeng"

If you don’t know it, that’s the chorus to a catchy p&w song “All Day” by the insanely popular Youth group Hillsong United.

Given the circumstances I’m in, that’s exactly how I would describe my life right now without precious sunshine, good food, or exercise (save for the few necessary moments of commute)—all day. Seriously.

Wake up from sleeping all night in an enclosed apartment where the blinds are never opened. Hardly ever sweat in this absurdly dry weather, hot or cold. Work in an office with no windows or fresh air. Almost 24 hours of constant AC (whatever happened to natural atmospheric air?). Go to class with white light, closed windows, and, of course, AC. Then drive home in a car shielded from most direct sunlight, with AC, and back into the apartment with AC, where I must finish all my reading assignments, writing assignments, and what not.

I feel quite sorry for myself right now.

How about ending on a positive note: I think I’m gonna reward myself for all this suffering with a motorbike for commutes when I return to Malaysia. And oh, I look forward to those hot sweaty days, breathing in REAL air whether in the city or jungle, and reading at the beach.…that is, if I’m still normal by the time I get back.

What is it?

The whole of last week, the one word that kept pounding in my mind was "talent". I bought a book called "Now Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton for one of my classes. Basically the book talks about re-discovering who you are based on your strengths and not your weaknesses, and that strengths are most obvious when you are operating in your talents.

More than just an interesting read, it was like priceless revelation to me! Prior to the book, i had been contemplating my talents and how I've used them, beating myself with negativity, and then "WHAM!" the book hit and ran me over like an elephant at full speed. Then, as if that wasnt enough, pastor talked about talents in church. Wahlau!

"OK, God," I said, "I get the message. But what do you want me to do about it?"

Silence.

"HELLOOO!?"
.
..
...
.... Great. No answer. So I go read my textbook on English Literature, and the scheduled reading assignment was on undeveloped talents. Coincidence? I think not.

It's been almost 2 weeks. And I am desperate for an answer. I know that God is telling me something. Yet things have been quiet. Is God speaking? Yes? Perhaps? And am I listening? Really? Or do I just think I'm listening?

Leadership...

The world's greatest leaders were those who functioned, worked, and capitalized on their strengths. What they were weak in, they empowered others to do. They chose to believe in others. Most importantly, they chose to believe in themselves.

Many people have the privilege of doing what they do best. Yet how many can you think of that do not have that privilege? As a result, they become dissatisfied, disillusioned, frustrated, confused, angry...ARE YOU?

"It’s one thing to look back with God and see how and why. It’s another to look back and rake back up all your past again and live in them...Learn from life, and then go on! Do your best! Because your energy stops (gets eliminated) if you glue yourself there…We have to learn that sense of healthy detaching, glean the experience from it, let go, and move on." - Prof. Elizabeth Pentak Averill, parenthesis mine.

new dad...

It's exciting just reading about this man's blog. He anticipates birth of their first child! I can imagine this guy's excitement and anxiety as he waits patiently to set his eyes on his baby. The pride and gratefulness, oh how it wells up in the heart! And then, Misty and Kris are waiting to finally bring home Moriah, their girl whom they're in the process of adopting!

Psalms 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. [Deut. 28:4.]

What a beautiful verse. So many people in the world today consider children to be a nuisance, so much so that they grow up neglected and forgotten, some without hope of making it in the world. And because of that, some really do become nuisances, the outcasts of society, simply put. So sad, bringing a child into this world only to deprive it of life. Even sadder are those who are aborted, their wicks trimmed before they even have a chance to shine.

Proverbs 13:22 A good man leaves an inheritance [of moral stability and
goodness] to his children's children, and the wealth of the sinner [finds its way eventually] into the hands of the righteous, for whom it was laid up.

Proverbs 10:22 The blessing of the Lord--it makes [truly] rich, and He adds no sorrow with it [neither does toiling increase it].

Matthew 7:11 If you then, evil as you are, know how to give good and advantageous gifts to your children, how much more will your Father Who is in heaven [perfect as He is] give good and advantageous things to those who keep on asking Him!

Questions for myself

So I have to come up with 5 questions to ask myself for a class I'm taking. Here they are in no particular order.

1. Where do you live?
I live in an apartment. Yellow light. Chairs, tables, couch, white walls, guitar, saxophone, TV, books, paper, cup, paper cups, keys, hats, fingers and toes. Lights, lights, and lights. One bulb above me, 5 bulbs beside me, 5 before me. Light up my world, baby!

2. What are you doing now?
Typing away at this entry...spelling words like a bee. Fingers moving instinctively on a fading keyboard, black keyboard, on my Blackboard. Shining keys and wireless mouse vying for my attention, but my eyes are on the screen. Listening to my clock ticking, the AC filter running in the bathroom closet. Scratch. Breathe. ...Deeper. Ahhh....

3. Are you hungry?
YES! I'm always hungry! Ramen! Rice! Noodles! Vegetables! Steak! Carrots, tomatoes, chipsand dips! Jerky! Wish I had those. But what I really want right now is the cheapo fried noodles around the corner of Ayer Itam Rd and Reservoir Garden Rd, and a bag of soybean milk. Black sugar, tied with a string, supersized.

4. What do you do to relax?
Cook. Doesnt matter what dish, as long as I can dish it out. They say world-class chefs dont eat their own dishes. I dont care. I eat what I cook. Or maybe nobody wants to eat it but me. *grin* Listen to music. Read. Sleep. Cook with music, or read to sleep. Swim. Or daydream.

5. If you had a million dollars...
a. Save half, spend half.
b. Save all, spend interest.
c. Save some, give the rest.
d. Save none, give/spend all.
e. Save none, make another million.
f. All of the above.

Answer: F.

concerning comments...

Dear ALL WHO READ THIS BLOG.

I did not know that I turned on the "moderate comments" feature, therefore all comments were unposted until I found out how to approve them.

I apologise if I have not been replying to your comments. I'm sorry.
Please keep your them coming!

more from the journal...

I wish you wouldn't ask
I wish you wouldn't say
To put me to the task
To question all my ways
Some things can be discussed
Some things are worth explained
Some things just shouldn't last
Or better left unsaid
Why bring up useless "if"s?
Why bother playing safe?
Why question heart motives
of future still unveiled?
Believe the best in others
Believe not in their faults
Forgive the sins of others
Forget their frequent falls
Be merciful always
Be gracious in your words
Just as the Father is
So let your love be heard
Speak only words of good
Things that grow and build
No reason to be rude
Or with your words you kill
Be gen'rous with your praise
Be sincere from the heart
Let it be that each day
Love you give and impart

from the journal...

To love is not easy, to hate is not hard.
The first should be done freely, the second with regard.
When situations arise where it constitutes the first,
then offer it freely to satisfy the thirst.
Yet more often than not, the second appears,
often from anger, sometimes with tears.
It appears and it grows, and if it is not stopped,
when it's too late, of the first you've been robbed.

The first also grows (it takes quite a while);
but along will come Trouble, Temptation and Trial.
Relentless, they seek to plant seeds of scorn
to snuff out the light where the first had once shone.
Yet strange as it seems, when adversity lands,
the first will be stronger if together we stand.
So come the trio, in great or in small
The first, being superior, will overcome them all.

Be careful, then, the words that we speak
for carelessness lurks, it's taking a peek.
When we're not watching or careful, it strikes,
and before you know it, it's a big fight.
It has been said: "the perfect man speaks few,"
but the foolish man speaks with gargantuan slews.
So guard the tongue for it is the tree of life;
without conscious thought, words can be needlessly rife.

Therefore seek, then, to love and not hate;
the first reveals courage, an admirable trait.
Weather the storm, shine through the clouds;
Forget the second - it's just an easy way out.
It may seem easier, this camouflaged sin,
but destroy you it will, from the inside, within.
Be gracious, be kind, be merciful, befriend,
Let love, not hate, prevail to the end.